Thursday the last day of April, almost 15 weeks!

Well the last few days have not been so bad. I can take a shower. I am so happy! I love the shower! Just imagine if you could not take a shower for 14 weeks! What would you do? Love the shower! I have not thrown up since Monday, but I am very nauseous every 7 hours (I can only take zofran every 8 hours). I do not have my energy back, and I get short of breath walking down the hall. I have been trying to go out and do things. I am not driving yet because I am too weak. I don't think I will need to put my picc line back in, thank goodness. I went to the doctors yesterday and my mom was able to go and hear the heart beat. She swears its a boy. We will see. I gained a pound, but feel like I have gained 20 pounds! My tummy is getting big, I feel fat so I asked the doctor if I was fat or if it was baby. She said baby but I am still not so sure! While my mom was here we went to Goodwill (D.I.) and got maternity clothes, I look fat and feel fat now. I do not want a stretch mark, my friend Lisa told me if I get a stretch mark then my bikini modeling days are over...oh no what will I do if I can't model bikinis anymore.....HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!! My mom has been here for a week and has been a big help.

Thank you to Wanda for a great KFC dinner last Thursday..it was yummy!

picc line out :(

well the picc line is out. i woke up this morning and my dumb cat chewed through my line. i could kill it. they had to take the picc line out because the bacteria from the cat could travel up my picc line and go to my chest. i could get a really bad infection so they took my line out. i am so scared. they want to put a new line in but i refused. i want to try to take zofran pills that dissolve. my doctor told me as soon as i get dehydrated i have to get iv's. i am so worried i will get dehydrated, i am trying to drink. i have only thrown up once today so far. getting the picc line taken out did not hurt, but i have a localized skin infection from the picc line that is making my arm hurt.

saturday 14 weeks.....I am never going to live!!!!!

i am not going to make it, i do not know what happened. i quit my zofran thursday night for good then last night (friday night) i thought the world was ending, i have not been that sick since i got pregnant. i was laying on the floor, throwing up like crazy. i hate this. i am back on zofran and iv's! This feels like it will never end. i did so good last week, what the heck happened? now i am stuck in bed again, luckily my mom is here to help.

Wednesday 22...almost 14 weeks.....I AM A NEW PERSON!

Wow, how life has changed. Monday I snuck out of the house and drove for the first time! I went to Togo's I was craving chili! I drove!!!!! Liz was really worried, she said, YOU CAN DO IT MOM! My IV's got tangled up in the seat belt and inside my car was over 90 degrees, and I don't have air. But I survived!

Tuesday I went to Target with Brad and the girls and to lunch with Brad (though I did not eat). It feels so good to get out. I still have my 4 hours of IV hydration, because I am not drinking yet. And my zofran I take out for 4-6 hours a day depending on how I am feeling.

Today I vacuumed and started cleaning the house for my mother coming. I am so excited to feel alive. I hope it stays this way! Fingers crossed!

Thank you to Lisa for having the girls yesterday...slip and slide...YA!
Thank you Amy for having the kids today
Thank you Susan C. for yummy pizza for dinner last night

Sunday the 19th...13 weeks

I am behind in thank you’s:


Thank you Dubray family for burrito dinner on Wednesday night
Thank you Heather and Saint John for yummy chicken dinner Thursday night
Thank you Brother Crockett for giving my grandfather a blessing Friday before he passed


I had a good Saturday, made it to Lizzies best friends birthday party at the park for about 3 hours. It was fun to get out. Then i decided i wanted to go to red robin, the first restaurant i have been to in months. i didn't order anything to eat but did munch on a few fries. Then we came home i got grandpas clothes washed and ready to go. Went to grandmas and dropped off grandpas clothes. So i had an exciting day of not laying in bed. Because i felt so well i decided not to do my iv's. Though i have been told not to, i don't listen very well.

i woke up this morning and was so sick. Should have done those IV’s yesterday! i wanted to eat so i could throw up, i didn't want to throw up my stomach lining. So Trix's sounded good to throw up, i ate them and within 5 seconds they all came up. i was sick all morning. i really wanted to go to church, so i did. I lasted 2 hours! YA!!!!!!!!!!! It was great they even sang 2 of my grandpa's favorite songs, Because i have been given much, and Count your many blessings. i am so glad i could go to church and feel the holy spirit.


My nurse came out Friday and changed my dressings on my picc, i have a slight fever, so i am suppose to keep an eye on it. i have some kidney pain but hopefully it will all resolve its self.

My mom is coming this week so i need to get the spare room clean which has been a storage room, wish me luck!

Saturday 13 weeks...grandpas passing

I wish this post was going to be more about hyperemesis, since that is what this blog is about but since i had an event in my life yesterday i thought i would share.

My day started off with my nurse coming and checking my picc and changing my dressings. I have a slight fever i have to keep my eye on but beside that it all looks good. my kidneys hurt so i wonder if i am getting a kidney infection. i am staying on my IV's and zofran though I don't want to because i am tired of it.

I was going to go see my grandfather who was dying today (Saturday) but decided to go yesterday. Brad and Brother Crockett gave him a blessing at 3pm, it was beautiful. Lizzie sang, You are my Sunshine and I am A Child of God. Lizzie was great, Emmie was scared to death. Brad and the girls left and I stayed until about 7:30pm. The home hospice nurse was going to be there all night and my aunt was staying all night as well. The nurse seemed very confident he would make it 48 hours to a week. So I was going to go back today. We got the call somewhere in the 10pm hour that he had passed and that I could go see his body if I wanted to. I chose not to. When my uncle told me he passed the first thing I said was, That was Fast! That was the only thing that came to mind. If I would have known last night he would pass I would have stayed all night, but hindsight is 20/20. I have no regrets. As I sat by his bed I did not know what to say to him that he didn't already know. He knew I loved him, he knew he was the best grandpa, he knew I thought the world of him, he knew he was my best friend, so what do you say? No regrets that is the way to go. I have not cried, I am not sure that I am sad; he is where he should be. I think of him in heaven and i get this overwhelming happy feeling. He is now happy! Everyone thinks I should be upset, and if another person asks if I am really alright and not faking, I might him them. LOL!!!!1 I am fine, a little tired just from everything but at peace grandpa is where he should be.

Sorry this post is not about hyperemesis, but life happens while you have hyperemesis!

More pictures of the picc line

Picture 1 - My picc line right after the dressings were changed. The dressings must be changed once a week by a home health care nurse. It still stings when they clean the area around the tube.

Picture 2 - A week since my dressings have been changed. I always have a small amount of blood that leaks through during the week. One week the whole dressing filled up with blood. As long as it is less then the size of a quarter it is no big deal.

Picture 3 - This is the needle I use to inject folic acid and prenatal vitamins into the IV bag. The needle does not go into me, so it doesn't hurt. Then the needle goes into our sharps contain.

Picture 4 - This is my pump for my IV, and my IV bag, notice it is yellow from the vitamins.

Picture 5 - This is a Saline Flush, I use it to flush my line to make sure I do not get any clots in my line. If I get clots in my line then my IV's do not work and we would have to take the picc line out and put another one in. That would be horrible, lets keep our fingers cross that I never get a clot in my line!

Picture 6 - This is a picture of me flushing my line, it does not hurt but gives me a funny taste in my throat, sometimes it makes me throw up!

Tuesday, no clue the date.....

Well we had a good Easter evening, we were all able to make it to the crocketts with the dubrays, seegmillers, cotes, and masiovechio (i know i did not spell that right), and had a great time. i decided to disconnect from my zofran pump and my hydration because i didn't want to carry it all over there. i lasted 3 hours, even ate a little and had a real good time. i felt human! The kids had a blast and had fun with the Easter egg hunt. Thank you to everyone!

So Monday i woke up and decided i was done with this iv stuff.... though brad and kevin told me not too. i went without an iv, first time in many, many weeks. All day! I was so proud; i decided i am tired of being attached to machines, and laying around all the time. i am done, done, done! It is my body, i should have a say!!!!!!

Well that bit me in the butt today! i threw up a ton this morning, brad said worse to date...i think he always says that though. i didn't think i would make it to the doctors. i did go to the doctor’s saw Kathy, i liked her a lot. i lost 3 more pounds. She said that i have to have my iv, and zofran until 20 weeks and i am only 12 weeks. She said if i quit now i will be sorry. She said you already have the picc line, the iv's don't hurt, i said i am tired of sitting around, she said i could do it, I already have done it for 12 weeks. Brad gave me the told you so look. 20 weeks!!!!!!!!! i am never going to make it!!!!!!!!! Kathy made me feel better and i guess i will keep doing it. She said home healthcare really decides when i can go a few hours without ivs. So i decided i am barking up the wrong tree. So when my nurse comes out Friday i am going to tell her i am not throwing up and i am eating all the time....brad told me he would throw me under the bus so quickly my head would spin....and that i better not lie because he will be here. No one is on my side. We heard the baby's heart beat and it was really fast, brad still swears it is a girl, my fingers are still crossed for a boy!

Then after the doctors we saw grandpa frank, we looked worse the Friday. lizzie sang you are my sunshine to him and he sang it back to her, that is the only interaction he gave us. i hope the Lord takes him soon.

Thank you Shaw family for yummy brownies Sunday evening

Thank Baer family for a yummy chicken dinner tonight

happy easter

Well it started off as a hard day. i got up very early because lizzie woke us all up and wanted to go look for her Easter basket. i didn't want to miss it so i went downstairs. i was able to see her and emmie open up the baskets and they were so excited. Polly pocket was the big hit! Then i felt sick, went back up stairs and throw up, while throwing up i decided throwing up my stomach lining is the best thing to throw up because it has no taste, or after taste. i laid up stairs felt horrible. Decided i could not go to church though i really wanted too. Came downstairs at noon, hooked up to iv's. Decided to eat an orange. Then threw up, a whole bunch, and now i must say throwing up your stomach lining with iv fluid and orange taste the best. A citrus flavor, like an orange starburst. Well brad and the kids are off to church, i will sit and play solitaire and hopefully make it to the crocketts house for Easter.

12 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well the last few days have been ups and downs. i have thrown up more then usual. i am very use to my picc line and can now sleep at night and not even notice it. i got a horrible call from my mother yesterday. My grandfather whom i am very close to is dying....he has been dying since June 2008 when he had a massive heart attack, but now his time has come. Hospice has been called in to his assisted living, and a hospital bed, it is just a matter of time. He no longer talks but seems to know who i was. i went and saw him yesterday and said goodbye, it was my first time out of the house except for the doctors in probably 8 to 6 weeks. i did well, but threw up as soon as i got home. i don't know if i sit all day because i am tired and have no energy or because i am afraid to throw up more then i already do. i pray grandpa passes soon and peacefully so he is not in anymore pain. My grandmother made the comment ever since i started getting sick and not visiting every other day grandpa started going down hill. i feel bad though it is not my fault. i will miss the grandpa he use to be, he is already gone, and has been for a while. We dyed eggs today and lizzie loved it, emmie was very bored and not impressed. We did an egg hunt, lizzie loved it and emmie just wanted to swing. Kids are funny. i sat at the table while they dyed eggs, and outside for a tiny bit, then felt sick. 2 more weeks then i will be 14 weeks, and i think that is when hormone levels start to lower. i hope the baby has the same blue eyes as my grandfather. I spent Easter with him last year L

thanks to amy for taking the kids while i said goodbye to grandpa

thanks lisa for taking the kids while i rested after saying goodbye to grandpa

thanks kevin for a yummy ham dinner tonight with potatoes, and dying eggs

thanks to the Crockett family for inviting us over for Easter

thursday...dying

it has been down hill since that bath 48 hours ago. today i have been in bed almost all day. i hate this, i feel so sick. thats all i feel like writing, sorry.

thanks dubrays for yummy dinner last night

thanks Sis. Massey for yummy dinner tonight

Tuesday, the 7th of April

Well i really wanted to go to target tonight to go Easter shopping for the girls. I wanted to ride in one of those motorized shopping carts since i cannot walk. My hubby told me no way was i strong enough, Lisa my friend laughed (yes you did!) at first but thought it would be an alright idea she wanted to know how i would even make it there since the car makes me sick, and Kevin told me no way what happens if you get germs from the cart. I have to be careful with germs and my picc line, if i get a staph infection it could be dangerous. So, brad went with out me. i am sad! he is trying to buy clothes for the girls which he has never done, he just called and did not know what colors to get. He is so funny.

My old doctors office called again today, i swear they like to drive me crazy. the doctor wants to see me tomorrow to go over my test results since there are some problems. I asked for the test results and they said it takes 10 days to process. What happens if it is serious and i won't make it 10 days! So i called my new doctor and the office manager answered the phone, she was awesome! She said she would handle it. So she called my doctor they would not give her the results, so she called the lab where i did the tests and after some convincing she got the results! Thank goodness!!!!!!! So my new doctor called and my old doctor is crazy! My blood platelet count was 435 a healthy persons is between 150 and 400. But, i am sick so mine should not be normal. All of my blood work should not be normal due to me being sick. She said not to worry about anything, and everything looked good enough considering my condition. I love my new doctors office!!!!!

I had a good day until I decided to take a bath, i can only take a bath when my zofran runs out every 48 hours, so when the zofran runs out i have to go take a bath then or wait another 48 hours. And my hair needed washed! I hate being told when i can and can not take a bath. Well i got in the bath got dizzy, and tired, asked Brad to wash my hair, by the time he got my hair wet I thought I was going to pass out, and started yelling at him to hurry and get me out of the bath tub before I passed out. So, I did not get my hair washed but I did not pass out either! I hate being weak and sick!

Thank you Gordon Family for bringing dinner in tonight!

Thank Angee for the Easter Party for Lizzie to go to today, and thank you for the book, Simplify a Guide to Caring for the Soul, I can't wait to start reading it!

MOnday April 6th...11 weeks 2 days!!!!

I am having a good day though I have been sitting doing nothing all day I have had the taste of blood in my throat off and on all day. Weird. My old doctor called and they read the test results back wrong and my blood platelet count is high, not low. But, they couldn't tell me what that meant or how it affects my picc line. I go to my new doctors next Wednesday, they are going to re-do all the tests. Doctors they drive me crazy! I only threw up once this week-end (bagels!), but still am very tired and very weak, I get dizzy walking down the hall and have no energy. If I have a good week I want to lower my zofran again, I think the zofran is making me so tired. We will see. Thanks Lisa for having the kids all day while Brad was at work!

Picture of my Picc line in my arm

This is a double lumen picc line. Meaning I have two tubes that stick out. One tube is for IV hydration with vitamins. The other tube is for the drug zofran so it is pumped into me 24 hours a day. I use saline syringes to flush the line to keep them clot free. I am a nurse and didn't even know it! My dressing gets changed once a week by my home health care nurse. The blue tube you see in the picture that goes into my arm is very long and goes from my arm up to my shoulder into my chest and sits right above my heart.. Sounds bad I know, but I can not feel it in my arm or my chest!

Friday...tomorrow 11 weeks!

9 more weeks and i will be half way through! i got a call from the doctor yesterday and my blood platelet count is low, which means my blood is not clotting. then a nurse came out today and my blood pressure was low, 98 over 70. then she said i looked very pale, my life story! why can't this go smooth? well i am a tough cookie and will continue hanging in!

thanks stockles for another yummy dinner
thanks to sandie for going on lizzies field trip, to lunch and watching the girls yesterday
thanks to lisa for watching the girls, again, and again, and again
thanks Nancy N for hanging out with the kids this afternoon and bringing me reading material

It is so great to have so much help!

wednesday

Well they lowered my zofran pump from 32 to 28. i could not handle the headaches. Now i am a little more nauseous. i started throwing up my stomach lining at 3am this morning. Oh the joys! i took a bath today and washed my hair, ya! So exciting! i am almost 11 weeks, every second is a second closer! Brad teases me about how cheerful i always seem and say people probably thinking i am faking it since i always seem happy. i guess i am just no good at sounding miserable though i might feel that way! oh well!

Thanks dubrays for dinner tonight, you are great!