Wednesday, February 29, 2012

12 weeks..................YA

I am not really sure what 12 weeks means, but it does mean another week closer.  yesterday was a pretty good day, can you believe i am typing that. it started out rough with the chest pains.  i lowered my zofran and then decide I was starving and wanted stuffed bell pepper soup, in a 3 hour period I ate 6 small bowls!  I thought I was going to be sorry, at 8:30pm I was still awake and felling well, I was so excited.  But then the cramps started (constipation), I took 4 big laxatives and went to sleep and prayed for results in the morning.  I woke up before 6am at some point with killer cramps and the laxatives did not work at all.............CONSTIPATED and NAUSEOUS!  Please NO!  Out came the suppositories when I could take no more cramps, and thank goodness those things work even if it is too well.  Lived on the toilet until 8:15am!  Brad went to work during this time and the 2 youngest woke up during this time.  Now I am trying to recover from a hard morning and hoping and praying for a good day, and most of all hoping and praying that my little baby in my tummy is handling all these cramps and medicines and not affecting him/her and is growing strong, we love you baby.

My oldest is not going to school today.  I think she might have a bladder infection and has had 3 random weird accidents in 3 days and says it hurts to go.  I am heart broken that I can not take her to the doctor and help her pee in a cup for the first time.  I am thankful that my mom will be able to take her but it still breaks my heart.  It breaks my heart even more the stress my 3 girls are going through due to me being sick, they are having such a hard time and I did not expected it to affect them as much as it has.  It is so much easier having hyperemesis when your children are smaller not older.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I did it

I had my home health care lower my zofran dose, not sure this was a good idea but the chest pains are killing me, so I am hoping this will help, but if it makes me throw up more then before then I will have to take the higher dose and deal with the chest pains.

Chest Pains again..............really!

So I woke up with chest pains again, not as bad as the ones that took me to the ER but pretty bad. At one point I called Brad and told him to call me every 15 minutes and if I did not answer the phone to call 911! He was not happy when I told him that and told me this is probably more serious then I think, but I told him I went to the ER last time and they could not do anything to help me, the doctor can't help so I will sit here until I can no longer breathe.  He was not happy but I was not moving.  Well after his second call my zofran ran out and I was to sick to get up and go to the fridge and get a new bottle of zofran.  So I turned my pump off (something I NEVER do), within 10 minutes the chest pains were gone, then I realized in the ER once they turned my zofran pump off the chest pains lessened.  Last Wednesday night I also broke out in hives but didn't think it was important to call my nurse.  I do not know what I am saying but I think the zofran is related to my chest pains.  But I can not stop the zofran, what to do.............

Monday, February 27, 2012

Picc Line Pic

my 5 year old daughter did her own picc line like mommy!

my picc line today at almost 12 weeks!

11 weeks & 5 days

well it has been a week end of ups and downs, i throw up once to twice a day, which is not so bad considering, i feel overall yucky, and the constipation is still out of control.  i woke up this morning to cramps, finally went to the bathroom, followed by a quick butt bath (this is where I roll my shirt up into my bra and take my pants off and fill the tub up to my belly button so i only get wet from the waist down, i can not take my shirt off without help and brad was already at work, i take many of these lovely crazy butt baths.  then felt dizzy, got out and threw up my stomach lining all by 7:30am! please let the rest of the day be smooth, though it won't because it is dressing change day...............OUCH! 

I have had a dream 2 nights in a row about the baby, it was the same baby in both dreams, she had red hair like lizzie, big blue eyes like maddie, but looked like emmie.  i can't wait to see her and hold her, i am never going to put her down after all this work i have gone through!  in both dreams labor was very i think that part is just a dream since i do not know what an easy labor is like!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

the worst part of hyperemesis is....................

not being able to enjoy my kids and be the mom I wish I could be...................

Saturday, February 25, 2012

My mask!

All smells make me sick, so I wear a mask when smells get bad, here is my mask with a mustache!  Notice the nice bruise on my right arm that is from the IV last week in the hospital, my picc line is in my left arm you can kinda seen!

Bed time 8pm sharp

So starting at 7:30pm I started fading in my chair and my hubby says I no longer answer questions but instead moan yes or no, and grunt.  At 7:30pm I usually have no clue where I am or what I am doing. 7:45 hubby convinces me to flush my IV lines, get a new zofran and get my picc line all ready for bed.  Then he gets me out of my chair in the bathroom and helps me try to brush my teeth.  Then he puts me in bed with my bowl, one last good throw up (walking down the hall always makes me throw up).  He lays me down, tucks in all my cords, puts 2 big blankets on me, tucks me in, calls the girls in for family prayer and kisses, lights off, door shut, and no one see's me until 8am UNLESS I have a bad night then I am up anywhere from 3am on. 

Well I was up at 3am this morning with cramps, constipation, I hate it!  Brad told me this morning that I should be grateful to be constipated over throwing up.  I have not thrown up in over 24 hours!  I told him I would much rather throw up then deal with painful cramps.  He said constipation won't put you in the hospital with a feeding tube but throwing up will.  I still disagree!  I hate being constipated!

While I was up all morning there was nothing on TV, this is how it looks at 3am.......home shopping network, exercise program to make your body look Ab -Mazing, preacher, home shopping network, exercise program, preacher...............over and over, nothing else was on, it was horrible.  At one point I started counting to see out of the 3 which was on the most and believe it or not it was exercising..........zumba, some drumming exercise, nice butt toning stuff, etc.  But what really got me interested (mind you I am on drugs) was these preachers, there are a ton of them, men and women.  I am a very religious person, and I believe in God, and I believe in prayer and that we receive answers to our prayers.  I believe no matter what religion you are or you are not that God hears and answers your prayers.  So, many of these TV preacher shows have a number on the bottom of the screen, to call and they will pray for you.  My theory is the more the merrier, I need all the prayers I can get..............laying in bed with cramps, feeling horrible for weeks and I still have weeks to endure with many more bumps in the road (I am sure), I thought I should start calling!  Good thing there is not a phone in my room :)

My hubby is so funny!

my hubby came home from work and told me he did some more research on hyperemesis (like we have not already done thousands of hours of research) and informed me the chance of me dying was less then 1%  and very unlikely and he feels better.  This was my response, "Dying would be easier then what I am going through!  Are you kidding me, this is not about me dying this is about me suffering for 20 weeks in sever pain!  I wish I were dead!"  He laughed and said it would be over soon enough, love his funny sense of humor!

while I was on the phone to my BESTIE (ha ha....inside joke) last night we were talking about if it was a boy or girl and I told her I am sure it is a girl no doubt in my mind, my hubby in the back ground yelled, "the next one is going to be a boy!"  She asked if he was serious and I told my Bestie,"I am cutting his thing off in the middle of the night when I am feeling better if he does not have it taken care of!"

Friday, February 24, 2012

Top 10 list part 2!

Laying in bed last night I realized I needed to add to my list, hey you got to be thinking of something while you are staring at the is my other top 10 list:

10. You leave the house house only once a week to go to the doctors, and it makes you anxious
9. Suppositories and laxatives is in your everyday vocabulary
8.  Your husband does not sleep in the same bed as you
7. Your hair is so greasy you can coat a frying pan with it
6. You know the difference between a saline flush and heprin flush and when to use them
5. You see stars floating around the room so often you think they are new decorations
4. You eat food that you know will taste good coming up
3. You have the TV guide memorized, and are sick of all the Dr. shows!
2. Your family cheers for you when you finally poop after trying 30 times!
1. Your legs are as hairy as your husbands

Thursday, February 23, 2012

you know you have hyperemesis if..............

10.  Your pregnancy glow is GREEN
9. Your favorite 4 words are,"Don't touch the bed!"
8. You stare at a white wall at least 8 hours a day
7. You have key-tone test strips on the toilet
6. You forgot what it was like to wear a bra
5. You have mouthwash in every room
4. You have face masks in every room just in case anyone on the street decides to cook dinner
3. There are numerous bowls lined up by your bed (all full)
2. You have a sharps container in your living room for needles
1. You have an IV hook installed in your bathroom


my 5 year old came up to me today and asked me, "mom: how do I not have babies, i do not want one, ever!"  this is a hard question to answer to a 5 year old what do you say, "never have sex!"  but i decided the best option was to tell her, "pray to your heavenly father and tell him you do not want one and he will listen and answer your prayers" (i meant when she was older of course).................she looked at me thought about what I said and dropped to her knees and folded her arms and started praying out loud to bless her to never have a baby!  it was so cute and funny!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012


Baby stat update: 11 weeks, Lost 18 pounds, Heart Rate 160 (girl), 20 times I have thrown up in 24 hours, Doctor wanted me hospitalized with a feeding tube we agreed on sugar solution in my IV for a week to see if that would help!

3am wednesday morning

still throwing up................threw up at least 20+ times in the last 24 hours, hate to say it but i am ready to be put in the hospital if they can help me there better, i can not go on like this.  doctors in an hour, please help me!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

10:30pm on tuesday

still throwing up

All bowls in the house are full of puke

hope the hubby gets home soon..............the most through up in 11 weeks............when is my break?

11 weeks tomorrow

I do not think I have thrown up since Saturday night, and I thought i was n a good roll until 3am hit this morning and I was sicker then a dog...................again! I am so sick of being sick!

My nurse came and changed my dressings yesterday and it stung more then usual and it was sore all afternoon.  but everything looked as good as it gets.

since i was up so early i stayed in bed until 10:30am which is very late for me, my husband called 4 times and the phone is upstairs. so of course he freaked out and called my mom luckily she was over at 9am getting my oldest for school so she was able to assure him I was fine.  he says i give him anxiety, he might need anxiety medication, i told him if something is wrong i would call like i did on friday with the chest pains or my mom would call she is over all the time.  i love how much he loves me, even if he is bald after this is all said and done!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Too much TV

Due to my current condition of not being able to get out of bed or the lazy boy chair i watch 12 hours of TV a day, before I was sick I watched maybe 1 hour of TV a day.  boy has life changed in so many more ways then TV, how much i miss my old life...............but since i can not change it here are the 3 TV commercials i dis-like the most:

1. First response pregnancy test - the commercial says, "We know you are pregnant before your body does!"................LIAR..................not true, i am sick before the 2 positive lines show up!  my body is throwing up before the test says i am pregnant.

2. Exelon patch for patients with Alzheimer's - The commercial says, "if you wear more then one patch at a time it could led to hospitalization or death".............they have Alzheimer's, how are they going to remember how many patches to put on or take off?  this really confuses me!

3.Electric Scooter - the commercial says - "Do you have a hard time getting around? Are you weak, and need help getting from on room to the other?  you need a scooter! most insurance pay 100%!".......i think i qualify!

I am 10 weeks and 5 days, today is dressing change day, we all know how much i love that!

Sunday, February 19, 2012


My oldest daughter has a favorite church song and the chorus goes like this:
“I will go; I will do the thing the Lord commands.
I know the Lord provides a way; he wants me to obey.
I will go; I will do the thing the Lord commands.
I know the Lord provides a way; he wants me to obey.”
She was singing it today and made me realize I will do what the Lord commands and have a child of God, I will obey, and I know he provides a way through this pregnancy.  I am glad the Lord is on my side!

Please let this week end soon! (another gross blog)

So I thought the chest pains were bad on Friday until I woke up this morning (plus side I slept all night......first time in a long time) with CRAMPS!  The worst cramps ever, the screaming I am going to die cramps.  Please do not let me miscarry............I have made it too far now...........I want this baby!  It can not be constipation I have had a fairly good week on bowel movements!  Oh no I am going to die and need to go back to the ER!  I yell for Brad to get the suppositories, I am going to try those real long do they take to work?  15 minutes to an hour..............I will be dead in an hour!  20 minutes later............thank heaven...........the suppository worked and I moved to the toilet for the next hour....................................Brad had to get all 3 kids nylons, dress, high heels, and breakfast, and out the door to church by himself...............only words I had with Brad this morning were:

Brad: "The girls and I need to go to the bathroom, you have been in there all morning!"
Me: "I have NIAGARA FALLS coming out of me BUTT!  What do you want me to do?  There is a gas station down the street!"

I hate having one bathroom, but I have to tell you............I feel so much better now!  Please let this week be a good week, I deserve it!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

10 weeks 3 days

chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it, the one thing i enjoy which is sleep from 8pm to 8am no longer happens................ i have been up since 4am throwing up (brad even heard me and got up to help, he sleeps through everything).............i am not sure how much more i can mentally or physically handle............

Friday, February 17, 2012

10 weeks 2 days

9am had sever chest pains could not breathe thought i was going to die, taken to the ER just got home at 3:30 pm, had ultrasounds, blood work, x-rays, and CT scan.  my blood pressure was high and my heart racing they got it under control.  they thought it was my picc line or a blood clot.  my dad and hubby stayed with me the whole time.   they never figured out what happened.  came home and the thought crossed my mind that maybe i got air in my line. i just don't know, i am feeling better but worried about my baby, ct scans are not safe in the first trimester, please pray for the baby.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

10 weeks and 1 day

tried to stay up past 8pm last night so i could sleep in, i watched my favorite movie of all time, pretty woman, i still woke up at 7am not feeling good, not fair!  still do not feel well and i spend at least 8 hours a day staring at a white wall because it does not make me nauseous, my hubby calls and asks me how the wall is doing today........ha ha ha, puke!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

happy 10 weeks

still throwing up, still feel horrible...................hopefully only 10 weeks to go!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

finally throw up

it started out late..........................but it is bad..................not today it is my favorite day................i feel horrible

happy valentines day

9:37 and have not thrown up this morning................we are on a roll.............maybe it is because today is my favorite day of the year!  my hubby decorated my iv pole with flowers and balloons, my card was titled, "To the GREEN MACHINE"..........ha ha ha, since I am always the color green.  In the card he wrote a nice long love letter and one sentence said, "Don't worry the next time we do this it won't be as bad!"  Just so my wonderful, loving, caring hubby knows the next time he has another baby will be with another woman :)

Monday, February 13, 2012

nurse day

so i am going to try another medicine so tired of new meds but so tired of being sick, it is called meclazine, i do not know anything about it, need to do some research! 

my blood pressure was 97/67 which is really low for me and i am going to start sucking on jolly ranches if i can handle it to help from shaking from the lack of sugar in my system.

throw up bowl

i love waking up every morning and my first thing on my to do list is:

1. throw up all stomach lining and acid!

NOT FUN!!!!!!!!!!!

So, one bowl down and onto bowl number 2, which is glass and my 5 year old crawled on my lap when she woke up and accidentally kicked the bowl off my lap and it landed on carpet but broke in a thousand pieces right by my 2 year old who got sliced all over her hand by the glass.  blood everywhere, glass everywhere, throwing up mom, no clean more please!!!!!!

my hubby did inform me i will be 10 weeks this week which is double digits and i will never have to hit triple digits, it did not make me feel better :)

Sunday, February 12, 2012

my homehealth care nurse dumped me

yes it is true i do not think she could handle me, i never got the feeling she liked me.  so i have a new one. the fact is i know what i do and do not want, i have gone through this 3 times, i don't really need advice on what to do..............i just need to survive!  i am stubborn! good bye nurse!

my new theme song

thanks to a new good friend (who i feel like i have known forever) who lives in Scotland and teaches music and loves music sent me an e-mail:

My Thursday lunchtime string orchestra have just started learning Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feelin' (that tonight's gonna be a good night).  I REALLY hope that tonight is a 'good' night for you...

I love this song and I wake up thinking about it and it helps me get through the day, thanks Heather!

tired of throwing up but i am starving!

Our lunch conversation: Brad: "What do you want for lunch?" Me: "What taste good coming up?" Brad: "Don't worry I will serve your lunch with a big bowl!" Me: "Mac and cheese, taste the same way in or out!"

sunday, a new day

thank goodness because yesterday was the worst day to date of this pregnancy, at one point Brad wanted to take me to the ER it was so bad.  I threw up so much yesterday I do not even have a count (numerous times we ran out of clean bowls), I was dizzy, confused, and had the trembles all day where I could not even hold something in my hand.  i really wanted life to end yesterday.  today has to be a better day or you can put me in the hospital!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

still saturday

still tired of throwing up

9 weeks and 3 days...........saturday

last night was the worst night ever it hit at 4pm until i finally went to sleep at 9pm, i was throwing up, shaking, dizzy, and wanted to die.  what happened, i thought i was doing a little better :( i can't do this!

this morning my husband had to go coach young mens basketball, my dad took by oldest to a valentines day party at church for 2 hours, and my mom rented a wheel chair and took me, and my 2 youngest to a kindergarten fair.  we were there for an hour and i was so done.  i am glad i went but i am beat!

Friday, February 10, 2012

sound effects

last night after the doctors I started throwing up in the car (who doesn't) and my 7 year informed me her favorite sound affect of me throwing up is the moan I do when I am done.  I am glad people enjoy my throwing up noises!

my mom is currently out renting a wheel chair for me for tomorrow, she is taking me out of the house to go to a kindergarten fair with my 5 year old (it is very important to my 5 year old that I go), I am not sure how ridiculous I will look :)

9 weeks and 2 days..........gross details in this blog!

well............i forgot to mention i lost 10 pounds in 9 weeks, my funny hubby said, "Thats it?"  I gained 20 pounds before i got pregnant so i have 20 to lose, i lost 37 pounds with my first!  I am not losing the weight this time, I am not sure why because I sure am not eating! but it is a blessing we will take even if it means more exercise after the baby is born!

well not only do i throw up and feel horrible all the time but the wonderful drug zofran that gets pumped into my body 24 hours a day has one nasty side affect, CONSTIPATION!  I am not sure how you get constipated if you never eat, how are you suppose to poop.............or better yet what are you suppose to poop?  I am not sure if you have ever been truly constipated but if you have you can agree it can be worse then labor pains, it is sever lower abdominal cramping that feels like a 2 headed monster is ripping your insides to pieces. With my other pregnancy's it got bad enough for enemas and suppositories, and lengthy stays on the toilet (hours).  Well I have been deathly afraid of it happening with this baby so I have been taking laxatives everyday (stool softeners like colace does not work) and they do not always work, so I doubled up last night and went to bed it has been a week since I have gone to the bathroom...............and it happened at 7am..........CRAMPS............I am going to die cramps!  Thank goodness I was prepared and had Brad by suppositories and enemas as soon as I got pregnant.  I tried to go with no luck, did all the tricks, you know put your feet on the toilet seat and lean back (some doctor told me that trick)....NOTHING!  I went and sat in my chair, tried to throw up and start watching Greys Anatomy from last night, 10 minutes later I ran to the bathroom and lived there for the next hour, thank goodness the laxatives kicked in, and well I could not wake my daughter up for school because I could not leave the toilet seat.  It is now 10am and  I feel like I have been up all day!  And since I have not gone in a week the wonderful hemorrhoids have decided to come out and play and it hurts to sit.  I am calling it a day!

Thursday, February 9, 2012


We heard the heart beat for the first time and it was know what that means! GIRL!


this is crazy (more crazy posts) and it did not happen with my other 3 hyperemesis pregnancy's, i have vivid dreams of eating food every night.  i have dreams at being at specific restaurant's and eating steak, and other food, it is horrible, and just not fair! go away dreams, I can't eat!!!!!!!!


i took a bath and it feels like I ran a marathon, I am so tired.  I can not believe I am going to be able to make it to the doctors today with the way I feel.  I do not understand if I am so sick and not getting any vitamins how come my nails and hair grow an inch a day!  Do you know how hard it is to reach my toes and shave my legs, its just not fair! I do not feel good!


i think hyperemesis makes you crazy. so i woke up this morning and felt GREAT!  i was totalled freaked out and thought I miscarried all because I felt great!  i jumped out of bed ran to the bathroom
(yes that's how great i felt) and took a pregnancy test! it was positive.............thank goodness, i have not gone through 9 weeks of this for nothing.
so i walked to my chair and thought, i can't believe i feel so good, what is going on, maybe I should call my doctor, this just isn't right!!!
well as that thought flashed before my mind i started throwing up all over the place, and well now i feel horrible and i wish i felt well. 
i can not figure out what i want, i am crazy!  i am not happy if i am sick and i am not happy if i feel well.  all i really know is i WANT this baby, after the scare this morning i realized i can do this and i want to hold this baby in my arms in 31 weeks!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012


I had 2 Junior Roast Beef  Sandwiches from Arbys today...................I was starving and it tasted so good going down, not so good sitting in my stomach but it stayed down!

This might sound horrible and I am sorry if it does but I have to tell you, i was reading other woman's blogs today who claimed they had hyperemesis and I have to tell you unless you have a picc line, been hospitalized, or have a zofran pump, I don't really like them using the term hyperemesis!  I know this statement is not politically correct but it is how I currently feel!  You don't really know how us women with hyperemesis really feel!

9 weeks!

THIS IS HUGE NEWS: I stood up, walked to the kitchen, washed my hair in the sink, and sat back down in my chair.................ALL BY MYSELF! (I did not even get tangled up on iv cords, the most I have walked in weeks, I did not even throw up)
SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!


i am so happy, another week down........................i have not thrown up in 48 hours until this morning when i woke up at 5am to my hubby cooking half a dozen eggs.....................eggs do it every time!  back to the bowl i go!  throwing up does not just include vomit coming out of my mouth, it includes sweat all over my body, extreme itching all over, and usually a slight bloody nose, and lots of tears! not a pretty sight!

i started taking benedryl to help with the room spinning all the time and i have to admit i have noticed a slight difference. i feel 1 percent better, and i will take that!  it makes my mouth super dry but oh well!

tomorrow we get to hear the baby's heart beat for the first time, which means i must wash my hair and bath.................NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  It makes me so sick!  Not happy about this :)

Maddie and Emmie swear the baby is a boy (grandma brain washed them), and Lizzie does not care what it is as long as it has RED hair!  Emmie and I watch Baby Story every morning and I cry every time.............hormones!  Emmie is going to deliver the baby :)

Monday, February 6, 2012

Another post.......................

You know what that means, 3 post in one day......................I HAVE NOT THROWN UP ALL DAY! I do not feel well but I will take anything.  So my nurses came out to change my dressings....... a 2 hour ordeal once a week.  I lost a stitch from my picc line, there is no way I am going back to the hospital to have it re-stitched!  I still have a whole bunch others!  They ask a thousand questions and one of them is chest pains.............and Saturday I was having really bad chest pains but they only lasted for 30 minutes, they said next time I need to call the on call nurse and not ignore it.  Oh daughters school just called and she is in the office sick...................3 kids home all afternoon!

Pregnant Women

So, my home healthcare nurse is pregnant and due at the end of April.  I clearly knew she was pregnant but she never said anything to me and I have never asked.  Last time she came she was training a new nurse and she asked when she was going on maternity leave.  The nurse looked down and you could tell she did not want me to know.  I was excited for her and talked about what she was having.  She said she does not like to tell her patients who are as sick as me that she is pregnant because one lady told her she hated women who have healthy normal pregnancies.  I told her I do not feel that way, and  I don't!  I do not wish anyone to have what I have.  I think it is great when women have normal pregnancies and are not sick!  More power to you!  The thing I do hate though, and I have to put it out there....... is women who have mild morning sickness, or their backs hurt a little, or they get one UTI, or their ankles are swollen and they whine about it like the world is ending, really?  Come on, give me a break!

You wanted some updated pictures, right?

 Perfect birthday picture, you can not see me!  I look horrible!  I did eat a few bites of cake and keep it down!  See my decorated IV pole?
 The first ultrasound of our little baby!

 Brads funny birthday card for an old person that applied to me, "Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work!"  Plus the birthday picture is of a turtle who is GREEN and since I am always GREEN...................he thought it was perfect!

Since this blog is about hyperemesis and not my birthday I am going to blog about my birthday and awesome gifts I got by awesome people on my personal blog if you need an invite let me know!

8 weeks 5 days

i am not sure where to start it is the same thing over and over again.  i lay in my chair and feel like death all day.  i decided to start a new medicine and i do not like new meds.  i started an antihistamine called benedryl, there has been some research studies that have shown it helps with hyperemesis, please let it help!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

my 30th birthday today

and i do not feel good at all, please let  this end soon!  i am tired of not feeling good..................

Saturday, February 4, 2012

chicken noodle soup

is the worst thing to date i have thrown up it taste horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, February 3, 2012

8 weeks and 2 days

The biggest blessing I currently have is that I sleep 8pm to 8am without getting up to throw up or go pee.  I might not feel great but I can stay in bed the whole time.  A huge blessing.

Another huge blessing is my picc line is in my upper arm unlike my last picc line that was where I bend my arm.  This picc line is easy to sleep with and does not hurt every time I move my arm.

I love that my daughters tell everyone at school and church if they ask how mommy is doing they say "Great, she sits in a chair all day and watches TV!"  My girls have no clue how sick I am!

Well thats the end of the great news now for the bad:

My daughters big sign up for kindergarten fair is next week-end and I really want to go.  She does not want to go to kindergarten and I feel like this is the first big step to help her over come her fear.  I want to rent a wheel chair and have my hubby take me.  My hubby said, NO WAY!  He said I can not even get into the car let alone a ride to the fair and in a wheel chair and pushed around.  I do not know what to do, so stressed about it!

I have had a bad week of throwing up and deserve a good week! 

My muscles hurt so my hubby decided to walk me last night by having me do 3 laps around our tiny kitchen which I have not seen in 2 weeks.  It felt good to walk with his help, wish I could go outside, but doubtful.

My IV is on a gravity drip.  So it hangs 3 feet above my heart and drips.  My other picc line my IV bag was in a backpack on the ground and it had a pump that pumped the fluid into me.  This worked great because if I got air on my line or there was a blockage an alarm would go off and wake the dead.  But with my current picc line when the fluid runs out then air runs in the IV line.  My line is about 6 feet long I would say and 5 times we have caught the bag running out and air 5 feet into the line.  If air goes into my chest it could kill me.  Brad is totally freaked out about this, so I must let him know when I do IV bags so he can make sure they do not run out.  Well that's what happen today, I did my IV, turned it off when I was done and feel asleep.  He thought I forgot to turn it off and got air in my line.  He said he thought for sure I was a goner and had himself sick at work.  Poor guy :(

I learned my lesson

What happens when you do not answer the phone for one hour and your home healthcare nurse, mom, and hubby call 3 times? My mom busts through the front door and scares the you know what out of me taking a peaceful nap with my daughter! Forgot to call and tell 3 people I was taking a nap, or walking to the bathroom, or rolling over, my every move monitored :) Oh how I can feel the LOVE!

Thursday, February 2, 2012

My muscles

I am not sure if it is from dehydration, throwing up, or stuck in a chair all day with no movement, but my muscles hurt.  My leg muscles are sore but my lower back muscles are like pain I never have felt.  It hurts so bad to feel my muscles weaken and collapse into my body.  It has been another hard day with vomiting and nauseousness, please give me a day with no pain.

To my hubby, I owe you my life, I could not do it without you

Dear Brad,

Thank you so much for coming home from work and emptying throw up bowls, cleaning up a disastrous front room from the kids playing all day, cooking dinner, doing dishes, washing the laundry, bathing the kids, packing lunches, picking clothes out, hooking up IV bags, vacuuming, doing a medical supply count, bathing me, dressing me, and much more every single day.

Thank you for calling from work a dozen times a day to make sure I am still alive, and listening to me cry on the phone about how I can not do it and I just want to die.  Thank you for believing in me and telling me I can do it.

Thank you for sitting on the floor next to to me after the kids are in bed rubbing my arm and head and sitting in silence praying for me to recover. 

Thank you for listening and understanding my needs and complaints.  I love you!

Love, your very sick wife

Jesus Take the Wheel by Carrie Underwood

thats how I feel today..................please take the wheel Jesus!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


i am letting someone come over and visit me today, it is the first time since i have been sick, i am nervous and hope and pray i do not throw up!

i have to say not being on zofran has made my mind less foggy and i love it.  i have been so confused on little details lately.  i gave someone my wrong address, the doctor my wrong phone number, and had to call my friend Bec and ask her if we talked one day because I could not remember.  i like not being foggy!

Happy 8 weeks today baby FAITH!

I was quoted in this article, so cool!

See it here:

 tips and advice for the family and friends of sufferers

Watching a loved one suffer with nausea and vomiting in pregnancy or hyperemesis gravidarum can be really tough and it can be harder still to know how best to help and support them. Here are some tips and advice from women who have been through it about what helped them:
  • Text her regularly to let her know you are thinking of her
  • Don't be upset if she doesn't return texts or phone calls straight away; it can be really hard to look at screens or talk on the phone when you are feeling/being sick!
  • Avoid being overly 'gushy' and excited about the baby and pregnancy; she may be feeling resentful about the baby and depressed about the pregnancy even if it was much wanted and planned. By being too excited you may make her feel even more isolated.
  • Try not to question her about the safety of medications she is on; if her doctor has prescribed them then it is because she needs them. If you have concerns then have a look at our treatment pages or research pages for further information about the medications.
  • If you are able then offer to look after any older children for a couple of hours as and when you can.
  • Remember that smells, bright lights, loud noises and other sensory stimulation can all bring on vomiting so try to reduce these factor for her (especially smells).
  • If you bring food for her family then make sure it is not strong smelling or contain garlic (cold food is best) and don't be upset if she doesn't want to eat any food you have brought.
  • Vomiting infront of others can be humiliating for some women so be sensitive to this.
  • Try to listen without giving advice, or telling her about other peoples glowing pregnancies or the women you know who was sick all the time but still went into work... remember that pregnancy sickness has a whole spectrum of severity from mild to life threatening!
  • Bare in mind that some of the medications can cause mild drowsiness and confusion; be aware that she may find conversation a struggle; it can be nice to listen though.
  • If she is struggling to use a computer but would like to access support via text through this website then offer to fill in the online form for her or contact her regional leader via the support network page.
It can be great to have visitors when she feels up to it but here are some do's and don'ts for visiting times:
  • Offer to pick up any shopping or prescriptions on your way round.
  • Bring some magazines and books (but bare in mind she may not be up to reading/watching) - Downloading some audio-books for her could be really wonderful!
  • If you go to the loo, give it a quick clean... there is nothing worse then vomiting into an unclean toilet!!!
  • If she is largely bed bound then offer to change/wash the bed sheets for her.
  • If you put any washing on for her don't use scented fabric softener.
  • If she is struggling with young children then offer to play with them while she has a lie down.
  • Make sure you wash any mugs or pots before you leave.
  • Wear perfume.
  • Eat garlic or curry the night before a visit.
  • Smoke before visiting.
  • Bring flowers as a gift; as well meaning as they are the smell and colours can trigger vomiting.
  • Expect her to make tea and coffee... make it yourself!
  • Bring noisy children with you.
  • Focus on the pregnancy or the illness; try to talk about 'normal' things.
  • Leave any mess for her to clear up!
If you visit a friend or relative who is suffering with pregnancy sickness or hyperemesis gravidarum and you are concerned that they are very dehydrated (dry lips and tongue, dry skin etc) or they seem confused or drowsy then call their doctor or take them to hospital.
Here are some quotes from sufferers of Hyperemesis Gravidarum about how their friends could have helped:
"If you are a smoker, it might be best to stay away - or change clothes before you go round. Don't tell the sufferer that people usually start to feel better after 12 weeks - it gives false hope. Do tell them that they won't feel like this forever and there will be an end to it - when I was depressed, suffering from HG and pregnant with my first child, I thought I would never feel normal again!! Do go to the doctors with them and push for treatment for them - they may be too weak, tired, ill to push for it themselves and when you are feeling low arguing is the last thing that you want but it might be exactly what is needed to get the help they need. Give her a cuddle and let her cry if thats what she wants to do and sometimes when you've got HG having a good cry is all you want to do." - Anne Burns, HG sufferer

"Never visit a person with hyperemesis and say you had morning sickness, you know what they are going through! It is NOT morning sickness!" - Sarah Vermillion Stevens, HG sufferer

"If she's laid up in bed make sure her surroundings are clean and there are sick bowls, tissues etc to hand. Physical contact (even close proximity) with older kids & partner may be difficult & sleeping arrangements may need to be altered for a while." - Asiyah Aziz, HG sufferer

"Under no circumstances mention the phrase "have you tried ginger?" or "I hear ginger helps" or "being sick is a good sign, means it's a healthy pregnancy". No help whatsoever to the HG sufferer!" - Pauline Turner, HG sufferer

one thing after another

my zofran pump broke at midnight last night and a new one will not be here until this afternoon, that means to medication to help with nauseous and vomiting..............not feeling so great.