Saturday, March 31, 2012

16 weeks and 3 days

well last night my hubby and i did it, we went to dinner!  we went to applebees (of course, my favorite), all i ate was potatoe twisters (chips) and 3 glasses of strawberry lemonade!  then we drove around for an hour, went to mcdonalds for ice cream, and to target for easter shopping.  target was way too much for me, thought i was going to die! i went to bed at midnight, woke up at 9am and we went to breakfast and i ate half an omelet and hash-browns.  i have not done any IV's today!  i do not feel great, but it felt great to get out and it did not kill me. heres to better weeks ahead!  I have for sure popped and he is now at my belly button and likes to kick me all day long, but he sleeps well at night, hope that does not change!

Friday, March 30, 2012

16 weeks and 2 days

yesterday i had a great day, today has started out a little rough but hoping for it to get better.  my hubby and i are going to try to go out to dinner tonight, the first time in about 16 weeks, i sure hope i feel well enough.  here is where i am at:


-i do one bag of IV fluids a day mixed with benedryl
-i am still on a very high dose of zofran in my pump / 24 hours a day
-the only thing i can drink is water-down lemonade, but i get about 24oz a day
-i can eat everything and anything as long as it sounds good - nachos and hot dogs are my favorite
-i still deal with cramps due to sever constipation that is worse now that i am eating
-i do not throw up but have about 4 hours a day i feel like i am going to
-my boobs are killing me, i did not have this issue with my 3 girls, bras hurt, laying on them hurt and my 2 year old accidentally pushing on them can bring me to tears, i have never had this feeling before!
-i did not have a heighten sense of smell with the girls and with this one I can smell everything.  i was sitting outside with my neighbor last Friday, and said, "who is cooking fish tonight for dinner?"   she along with 9 kids did not smell it, but too me it was bad.  a few days later it hit me what it was, it was lent and a church in the area was having a fish fry to kick it off!  pretty impressive huh?
-yesterday afternoon the baby moved from my pelvis up to my belly button, i said i officially "Popped", he was moving around like crazy, and my belly was huge! so i had brad get the maternity clothes out last night, and well this morning i put a size small maternity shirt on and it is HUGE on me and my belly is gone now, i guess it might not have been the baby but nachos!
-still chew a pack of gum a day!
- the c word (circumcision) has been decided, thanks to great friends and family who are not judgmental and let me ask about their husbands and sons and their feelings (it has been like 20 people).  i appreciate them being honest and supporting me even if my decision is different then theirs is.  i really appreciate my poor 20 year old brother who is in the military for letting me ask him embarrassing questions and him answering with the word "junk" instead of "penis" because he is so shy!
-next big decision who gets fixed :)

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

16 weeks!

almost had to go to the hospital last night.  i had a bad night from 8pm to midnight.  at 10pm i looked down at my picc line and my tube was backing up with blood!  that has never happened before!  go figure!  so we called the on call nurse and walked us through pushing my blood back through the tube and into me, it was gross but we did it.  we had to check it an hour later and still no blood :)  but dry heaves started and i ended up hugging the toilet, brad held my hair and beat my back, i felt horrible.  i think midnight knocked me out and i slept until 9:30am and feel much better today and still no blood!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

16 weeks tomorrow

headache went away, i am ready to be better, i am so tired of not feeling well, how much longer?

Any thoughts on this question: Has anyone ever named their child after a celebrity maybe an actor/actress, sports star, or politician?

My husband wants to name our son Daniel John, I know this name does not ring a bell to anyone but it is after his childhood sports star, I think it is awkward.  The name John is my dad's name so of course he would be named after my dad.  I still think it is kinda weird, thoughts?

15 weeks 6 days

another bad headache, really!

Monday, March 26, 2012

So Sick!

Well i finally had to do it, turn my zofran pump back up :(  I could not handle the nausea :(  I have not felt well all day!

15 weeks and 5 days

thank goodness the week end is over.  i still am on the lower dose on my zofran pump, i am more nauseous then usual but trying to stay strong.  the nurse reminded me i need to eat more like chips and cookies for calories!  but i am happy with my graham crackers!   but my calorie intake is still to low, trying my best, looking forward to 20 weeks, though i am not sure what that will mean?

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Its a boy!

Still not use to saying that, but since it really is a boy I am now faced with the big "C" word, circumcision.  I did not know anything about until I started researching it.  My friend said I needed to watch a video of it being done, I did and it is the worst thing I have ever watched, I asked my husband to watch it and he only made it through 2 minutes and could not watch it anymore.  I know everyone has strong opinions about this subject and I think it is all right to disagree, I was just wondering why you felt one way or another, what are your opinions? 

Headache is gone!

I am so glad the headache is gone, thank goodness!  I do not know what got rid of it, maybe a good night sleep.  If I still had it today my nurse said they could prescribe something stronger and some sleeping pills to knock me out, I did not want to go that route!

They lowered my zofran last night from .720 to .660 and it did not make me sick.  This morning I had  them lower it again to .600.  When I can get down to .450 then I can start taking oral dissolve zofran tablets, I guess I have a ways to go.  I am only doing 1 bag of fluids a day now and drinking water downed lemonade.  I hope this weeks prove to be a good week!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

I want today to end

I have the worst headache ever, I went to bed with it last night and I still have it, I have taken Tylenol, taken my contacts out, used a heating pad, used an ice pack, and finally turned off my zofran pump.................still no relief!  Please go away, I can not function!

Still a boy :)

I think I over do it yesterday and I had a horrible night and a bad headache today, i do not feel so great, but wanted to post the pictures of the flowers to tell our girls what we were having :)

Friday, March 23, 2012

A little more update from today

Now that the excitment of it being a boy has set in.  I was very shocked!  I thought for sure it was a girl!  I had no clue!  I really am excited though.  We told our 3 daughters this afternoon.  My oldest was in a school play and we gave her blue flowers afterwards and her teacher and friends hugges her and our middle child was so excited.  Then we got home and our oldest broke down in tears, "I do not want a brother, I do not like boys, I want a sister!"  We talked about how she was in heaven with her brother and how much they loved each other and how he has missed her.  That helped a little.  We went to Ci-Ci's pizza to celebrate and it was my first time going to a resturant since I got pregnant.  I did not eat anything but I was able to sit the whole time!

I did gain 1 pound in 2 weeks!  First time so far!  YA!

The baby looked healthy and had all the right body parts, legs, toes, etc.  Heart rate was 145 bpm.  The baby is still down very low.  He was measuring 16 weeks. Only bad news was I have placenta previa, which can be not so great, so I will have another ultrasound in 5 weeks and they will check if it has changed.  My placenta is covering my cervix 100%.  I hope and pray this changes and will  not be an issue.

The current name that my husband likes is Daniel John, I like it but have not looked an any other names!

The first Stevens boy, though I have had dreams about a girl, does this mean we are having another one after this? 

Its a boy!

What are we going to do with a boy?  What will it play with?  Barbies?  What will it wear pink?  More details to come later!

We found out what it is!

But, I cannot say yet!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

ER bill

for a good trip to the ER before insurance it will cost you $3,134.61. I got the bill in the mail to prove it, thank goodness for insurance!

15 weeks and 1 day

i got up this morning and decided I needed to bathe and wash my hair for my doctors appointment tomorrow. It literally wears me out, it is like running a marathon!  It might take me all day to recover!  but at least i am clean now!  thinking about my hot dog for the day, the only food I can eat and keep down, so crazy weird!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

15 week update

so I still can not drink any fluids and keep it down, not even 1 ounce!  It drives me crazy, I want to be done with all these IV's.  I am however eating a hot dog a day, random I know but that's all I eat all day and I keep it down.  If I keep this up I will weigh 300 pounds, ha ha ha!    I still do not feel well enough to get out of my chair, but thought I should start walking to help with my energy level.  When my husband got home I had him walk me 3 houses down and I thought I was going to die, I got light headed, and saw spots.  And now I do not feel well.  When can I go do something? I am officially tired of having hyperemesis!

15 weeks

up since 3 am with tummy ache, have not thrown up but need too.............................yucky!!!!!!!!!! sitting here with my iv and pump hoping today gets better :(

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

14 weeks and 6 days

Had another hard day yesterday.  My oldest is home sick with a high fever and nasty cold and all she wants is poor mommy to hold her but poor mommy is not feeling well :(  I decided to put shorts on and go with my mom to pick up my middle child from preschool (first time in 14 weeks), by the time I got to the car I thought I was going to die.  Then we picked her up and I got home and thought the world was going to end.  It took me 2 hours to recover and the room to stop spinning.  Then the hubby came home and thought it would be good for me to sit outside and get some fresh air.  I lasted 2 minutes ad begged him to put me back inside.  The sun was going to make me throw up.  I am hoping for  a better day today.  I just want to feel a little better, it has been almost 15 weeks now of non stop nauseousness!  Next week is spring break what am I going to do with 3 girls stuck in the house every day, spring break is suppose to be fun!

Monday, March 19, 2012

14 weeks & 5 days

picc dressing change day, ouch!  everything looked good except my blood pressure was low like 90/80....I tell you my body is all out of whack!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Still Sunday

I left the house this evening and went to my parents house to lay in their chair while everyone ate corn beef and cabbage.  I had a few too many potatoes, but i did well overall for my first time out of the house.

We found out a friend was pregnant and we were showing the girls pictures of her and Emmie said, "Where is her picc line?".  I informed not every pregnant woman has a picc line just this pregnant woman, she was so surprised and shocked!  Poor girls are so confused about pregnancy!

14 and a half week baby bump

sorry i wish I knew how to change the photo so you could look at it the right way.  well since i get the most annoying question asked all the time, "are you showing yet?"  here is the answer!

14 weeks and 4 days

i have found over the past 2 weeks that I must have something in my mouth at all times to help with feeling sick. i was not this way with the other 3. i have to have either the pink bubble gum tape in my mouth all day long or a red blow pop sucker. it makes such a huge difference! try it if you can!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

still saturday morning husband decide that he was going to sleep in bed last night for the first time in 14 weeks. he had to quit sleeping in our bed because when he moved too much at night it made me throw up (even his big toe), not to mention my picc line, tubes, and zofran pump taking up extra room. so he graciously moved the to the sofa. he laid next to me last night and i rubbed his arm and he said that was the first time we have touched in 14 weeks (i have ultra sensitive skin and touching makes me sick, my poor daughters even know not to touch mom's skin). as he made the funny comment it made me realize i am so lucky to have my amazing hubby who can suffer through hyperemesis. it never ever crosses my mind he might be getting attention from other woman because he is dedicated to me and our eternal family, i love the fact that i trust him 100%, what a wonderful feeling that is! i love you and your dedication hunny!

From last post

sorry I had to get off the computer really quick to go get sick again :( but today is st. patricks day so while i laid in the bathroom all morning dying i put leprechaun feet all over the bathroom walls and wrote a green message on the tp for the girls. it is not so wonderful and i really like to do more for st. patricks day but that's all the energy I had.

while I was in the bathroom I heard someone saying, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" in a low quiet little kids voice. Over and over! The voice sounded familiar but was not one of my kids voice. I just kept laying there for about 5 minutes until I thought maybe it is one of my kids and they can't find me so, I opened the bathroom door and still heard it so I crawled out of the bathroom and all 3 kids were fast asleep! I think I am losing it!

14 weeks and 3 days

been up since 6am sick :(

Friday, March 16, 2012

Afternoon on Friday

so I am in a bad funk. i feel like i am hopefully over the worst of it. the room does not spin all the time and every movement does not make me throw up. sure i throw up from time to time but it does not feel like i need to throw up all the time. i still can not drink anything not even an ounce or i throw up instantly. the only thing i can eat is graham crackers and kix cereal. nothing else. i still need my zofran and iv's. but i am bored and tired of sitting in my chair all day. by this point with the other kiddos I could walk into target and sit in a wheel chair at least. i still can not even walk to the car without being exhausted. i tried to walk to my dads car yesterday out of the hospital and I had to sit down in the parking lot because I could not make it. Today I decided to clean the girls room, brad is good at stacking and organizing not at cleaning. I cleaned 1/4 of it and got a bag full of trash out and had to go sit down for the rest of the day. when will i feel well enough to do something, how much more of this chair can I take? this pregnancy is so much worse then the others!

14 weeks & 2 days

well the picc line is running great, probably better then ever, hope it stays that way. so tired last night from the hospital i think i was snoring by 8:01pm, of course then I was wide awake at 5am!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

finally home from the hospital

well after a morning of nervousness and pretty sure i was going to die it is all over with. i did not want to go to the hospital and my poor hubby could not figure out why i was so nervous. he says i have gone throw much harder things in this pregnancy then a clot removal. i was still nervous beyond words. my mom took me and dropped me off in the infusion at 8:45am and she had the kids.

i sat down and was sure I was going to pass out due to nerves, what was my deal? Come on I can do this! I gave my self a pep talk. The nurse came over and told me what was going to happen. She said they would insert a medication into my picc line and let it sit in my picc line kinda like drain-o and let it de-solve the clot and then in 2 hours when would pull the medicine out and the clot. She said it should work and no worries. I was almost 100% blocked. She did the medicine and then I had 2 hours, 2 hours to sit and stare at the wall and freak out!

I called my mom and hubby and I think they thought I was going to have a nervous break down. I think I hit my breaking point, I have constant nausea, I throw up all the time, I can not eat or drink, I have constipation, diarrhea, cramps, chest pains, room spinning, been to the ER, and now much more can I handle? What if I can not do this, what if I am not strong enough. Mental breakdown! Its only been 14 weeks, how many more can I go before I am suicidal?

Then I find the personal TV everyone has by their bed and watched Will and Grace. I usually do not watch this show and the last time I watched it I was in an infusion unit in California with baby #2. It brought some sort of comfort to me so I watched 3 episodes. Then the guy next to me who was getting 2 bags of blood (I hate blood) turned his TV on as loud as it goes and I had to watch what he was watching because his TV was so loud. He decided on Mud Cats, has anyone seen that show? Painful! It is about hillbilly's fishing with their hands in wife beaters! The guy next to me would yell things to his wife like,"Hey Wanda, you ever seen a fish dat big! I ain't never caught a fish dat size!" It was ridiculous yet humorous at the same time and it made me laugh, almost out loud.

Then the nurse came over because it had been 2 hours and bad news, she was so confident 2 hours ago. She tried to remove the clot and nothing would move. I was still all blocked. She said to give it 10 more minutes and she would come back. 30 minutes later after a tearful call to the hubby that it was not working, the nurse came back. And she got a teeny tiny bit out. Not a lot.

What they do is try to pull the medicine back out of your line and as they pull the medicine out it should pull blood out which means the line is clear and open. But that did not work. She got some blood but not what she wanted to prove the clot was removed. The whole thing grossed me out I do not like any blood and she kept telling me to go to my happy place. I did not want to go anywhere I just wanted to close my eyes and have it end. So then she did what nice people do to help you keep your mind off things, they talk to you and ask you dumb questions. I know she meant well but I could not handle talking I just wanted to close my eyes and be done. When this happens to me I just answer whatever. The last time this happened was when I was in labor with baby #3 I had been pushing for 3 hours and she was stuck and sunny side up, the drugs had warn off and I was in pain. The nurse kept asking me questions and I wanted her to be quiet. She said,"so, mom what are you having, a boy or a girl?" I yelled,"I do not know and I do not care!" The truth was I knew I was having a girl. When the baby was born the nurse turned to my hubby and said,"Announce to the room what it is, mom really wants to know what she had!" My husband looked at her and said, "We have known for 20 weeks it was a girl, what are you talking about?" It was so funny.

So the nurse said we could do the treatment again and if it is still blocked they will pull the picc line out and have surgery to get it put back in today. I can not handle that info, surgery today? I just had surgery 10 weeks ago, I can not mentally handle it. I told her if she pulls it then I am done and will think about surgery next week. We decided to do a second treatment and wait and see.

So at 12:11 treatment #2 started. I was sure the world was ending, my mom called and needed the keys I had with me to get into my house because she had to go to work and Brad was coming home, but Maddie was asleep in the car. I told her I would run them out to her. I could not find a nurse so I just left, well I got stopped at the door and was sent back to my bed and some lady that worked there took the keys to my mom.

Then my dad showed up I think he was called in for reinforcements to make sure I did not completely lose it and end up in the mental institute at the hospital! We talked for it seemed like a few minutes not hours and the next thing I know the nurse was there saying it was 2:13 and time to try again to remove the clot. Well she tried and was able to get the medicine out along with a bunch of blood. Then she tried flushing the line and it flushed but not as well as it should. She said it was still about 40% clogged. That was good enough for me, I am ready to go home!

My dad brought me home and I started IV's and I think it about only 10% clogged, my fluids are running well. It really was not that bad and I was worked up over nothing, it was the un-knowing, the I have never done it before. I am glad I did it and thankful it is working better. i would do it over again if I needed too, but hope and pray I will never need to!


I am so nervous about the hospital today I could faint!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Hospital tomorrow

Well my nurse came out and I am have a blockage in my line, I have to check into the hospital at 9am, already pre-registered. I hope they can clear my line and get me home as soon as possible! Nervous :(

more throw up!

waiting for my nurse to come and look at my picc line, I drank 16oz and throw up 16oz, I am on a throwing up roll today!

never want to throw up again!

i do not drink alcohol (even when I am not pregnant) and i have never been drunk before. last night i was up watching my favorite tv show because i could not sleep, big bang theory, and lenard was drinking a ton with his girlfriend penny to see if it would make the sex better (not the point here). they drank so much he was violently throwing up in the toilet and she was violently throwing up in the sink, it looked horrible. it made me think of me throwing up. why would you purposely do this to yourself? i have to throw up all the time and it is out of my hands, but people have a choice when they drink too much, it made me thankful it has never happened to me. i never want to throw up if i do not have to.......just a side thought while I sit here throwing up!


called my nurse this morning and she wants me to be admitted to the hospital to get the clot in my picc line removed, i do not want to and i made that very clear. she said she has to call my doctor and it is really up to my doctor if they want a 14 week pregnant woman to sit at home with a clot in her line or not. i begged to leave it and piggy back my zofran line, she said it was not in her control. waiting for a call back!

14 weeks

not going to make it had a horrible night and morning, throwing up and picc line blocked............please let today get better :(

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Blockage, really?

I have drank another 8 ounces for a total of 16oz (there is a story behind this, I have a blockage in my left picc line and it is mostly blocked, so I can no longer get fluids unless I go to the hospital for 24 hours and get some strong blood thinners.....we have all ready tried heprin and it did not work. I do not want to do that so I am making myself drink. My goal is 32oz before bed!

So excited I could cry!

I just drank 8 oz of water, the most I have drank in 13 weeks. I have not put any fluid in my mouth in 13 weeks! All fluids have been in the form of an IV! I am so proud of myself! Yes it made me feel like I was going to throw up but it did make me feel proud! I also made my girls a sandwich for lunch for the first time in 13 weeks, and I am picking up my oldest from school today! I want to get off these IV's so my goal is 64 ounces by monday, 8 oz is a great way to start!

Picture Update

For someone foreign to a picc line set up here are a few pictures, more to come but this is all I was up too! This is how mine works and how I take care of it but I am sure everyone's is different and different doctors and health care companys take care of it differently. Do what your medical professional says.

These are all the needles I have used in 13 weeks, they do not go into me they go into my IV bag!  Thank goodness!  They have benedryl in them!

My favorite throw up bowl from the hospital, square is s much better.  I do not know why though!  My policy is one good throw up per bowl.  I can not throw up in a bowl and throw up an hour later in the same bowl unless it is washed!

These are keytone strips you pee on the strip and then you hold it up to the bottle to see what color it turns.  It tells you how many keytones are in your urine which then tells you how dehydrated you are.  You want to know my dirty little secret, I do not use them but tell my nurses I use them.  It hurts my head when I see the results and makes me feel horrible.  I figure I am getting IV's all day long I am clearly not dehydrated I do not need a stick making me depressed!  I have enough issues!

The yellow syringe is heprin which is a blood thinner.  I use it in my IV fluid picc line every night to keep blood from clotting in my picc line.  I use it every 3 days in my IV zofran picc line for the same purpose.  It does not have any side effects and keeps my line running smooth!  The white syringe is saline solution and I use that when ever I connect or disconnect from IV, it has no taste or side effects either.  But with my last baby it tasted metal to metal my throat!  Weird!

This is my benedryl vile's and all my needles!

This is my zofran pump.  You can either have it put into your stomach with a tube and needle or if you have a picc line have it attached to your picc line.  I original had it in my stomach but had a bad reaction under my skin.  I have no reaction in my pump.  So zofran is pumped into me 24 hours a day.  I have to change the zofran syringe once in the morning and once before bed.  My dose is .720 I do not know what that means but i know it is 2 levels from the highest you can go.  i started it at a much lower rate but needed it raised many times.  I also can do on demand bolus dose, 2 times a day 4 hours a part.  Which means if I am really sick I can get a large amount in 12 minutes.  They helped a lot at the beginning when I was really sick.

The picc line!

This is the upper part of my left arm.  You can get a picc line put into either arm.  The left arm is closer to your heart though and I am right handed so I do not use my left arm as much.  This is called a double picc lumen picc.  I highly recommend a double and not a single and requested it with both of my picc's.  The tube with the red cap pumps IV fluid into me and the tube with the purple cap pumps zofran into me.  The purple airplane thing is sewn into me with blue stitches and the stitches hurt more then the picc line itself.  The clear plastic around the picc is called my dressing and they get changed and cleaned by a nurse every 7 days and it stings so bad it brings tears to my eyes.  The little yellow square on my picc line is called tagaderm and it is an antibacterial gel to help prevent infection.  The airplane looking thing to the red cap is measured every week and must measure the same length to make sure it not moving around.  Since mine is stitched in it is unlikely to move around.  Mine always measures 11 inches.  My last picc line was not sewn in so it measured different every week.  They also measure the circumference of my upper arm 3 inches from incision site to make sure there is no swelling or fluid leakage into my arm.  My arm is always 33.5 cm!

The IV bag and pole, I hate the pole the base is huge and my house is small.  So if I get up I just carry the bag I do not ever move the IV pole.  The yellow circle on the IV bag is where I nut my needles in to add benedryl!

Beware our apple juice jar is Bio-Hazard, meaning don't drink from it it is full of needles!

Monday, March 12, 2012

13 weeks and 5 days

My nurses came out and changed my dressings.....OUCH!  But they have a new nurse trained now for me so when my nurse goes on maternity leave.  Everything went and looked great!

I actually took a bath this morning all by myself and even washed my hair, I did not throw up!  Its the cleanest the nurse has ever seen me!

My 2 year is very sick with a bad cold and I have been up 2 night in a row with her.  I called her doctor and they wanted to see her but I begged them to call a prescription in, I am not well enough to take her to the doctors.    So, they did..........YA!

Brads aunt and uncle who live in Ohio whom we are close to, Rosemarie, aunts mom passed away early this morning.  Prayers and thoughts with them at this time.  Though she has been very ill for 6 years, Brads aunt dedicated her life to taking care of her in her home and feeding her, changing her, bathing her, and doing everything for her.  Brads aunt is truly an amazing person and I wish there were more people like her, the world would be a better place.

I watched My Sisters Keeper today with Cameron Diaz about a girl dying from cancer, I cried the whole time and I never cry. I should not have watched it!

I am in this middle point, I am not well enough to get out of my chair and do anything but I feel well enough too.  I hate being in this middle stage of hyperemesis!  As soon as I think I am doing well it all goes down hill!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

13 weeks and 4 days

not feeling so great, we lost a hour of sleep last night due to the time change and then my 2 year old woke up at midnight coughing and screaming.  we gave her some medicine but then she was wide awake and did not feel good.  when i asked her what was wrong she told me her hand hurt.  funny girl she was laying on it and it must have fallen asleep!  I asked her if she wanted to watch her favorite movie, tangled since I was so tired and ready to go back to sleep and she was wide awake.  Of course when kids don't feel good they want to lay on their mommy, and she wanted to lay right on top of me, which is not the best in my condition.  So, I got her all set up with her movie in my bed and tucked back in and I laid down for her to inform me she could not watch her favorite movie without a bowl of popcorn!  I kept telling her 5 more minutes and the next thing I know it was 7am!  I am exhausted and she is one sick little girl this morning!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

i have drugs again

so my home health care sent me IV dressings instead of IV tubing (I do not even use IV dressings) not get me started.  so I only got 1 IV yesterday instead of 2 which means i missed a dose of my benedryl.  then I missed a bag this morning because the IV tubing just came.  therefore i missed my morning dose of benedryl.  i cannot believe benedyl makes that big of a difference,  i thought i was going to die this morning, but now i feel a little better and trying to recover from this morning.

why again.............

yesterday was such a great day why is today so horrible?  i have thrown up all morning, a horrible headache and i can not gt comfy in bed, the chair, or sofa.  i just want a little relief I am not going to make it here!

13 weeks and 1 day

i do not feel good at all

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I DROVE.....13 weeks

So, tonight Brad got home from work and the kids wanted to go outside and played.  He asked me to come sit outside in a chair.  It is the first time I have felt like I could, and I did! It felt so good!  While I was sitting outside I said, "lets go get ice-cream"!  he laughed and said I was not ready!  I told him I was ready and I wanted to drive.  It was so weird driving, he told me the break was on the left and the gas was on the right, he told me green means go, it all very funny and it felt even funnier to drive.  i drove a whole mile and when we got there I was beat.  We walked in got ice cream and went and sat in the car, I was tired.  I had some ice cream but was unable to drive home.  Its a start though!

More about the doctors!

More about the doctors today.   So your first ob appointment you are suppose to have a pap smear and breast exam.  But since I was sick from pretty much day one I have not been well enough for this.  They bug me at every appointment to do this.  I go to the doctors every 2 weeks.  So, today I decided I was going to do it.  So I let them do a pap (which was the most painful one I have ever had, no clue why, maybe because my legs have been glued shut for 13 weeks), but I told them my boobs felt fine, with the bleeding from my picc yesterday there was no way my shirt was coming off! 

The baby is low and small which is the case for all my babies but they end up being 9 pounds.  So they are doing an ultrasound at the next appointment to make sure the baby is growing.  I will be a little over 15 weeks, do you think they will be able to tell the gender?  I sure hope so!  There is a slim chance they will be able to but I will have my fingers crossed, I am dying to know! They said I had to drink 16oz of water when I made the appointment and told them I do not drink any fluid, they did not know what to say or do, it might be an issue, we will see!

I keep feeling funny movements in my lower belly I know it is really too early to feel the baby moving but I swear that is what it is!


Happy 13 weeks....goodbye first trimester!  I only lost 2 pounds this last 2 weeks.....the heart rate did drop from 170 to 150 (my mom is hoping boy, i think the baby was asleep)! Ultrasound #2 in 2 weeks!

Headache...the new blog

I decided since I am so bored to try to re-do my blog to make it look more cheerful, i am already depressed enough. let me tell you BIG MISTAKE!  It took me forever and I do not think I like it, should stuck with what I had, off to the doctors now!


Can not believe I have made it this far with so much further to go!

I forgot to update about the bloody picc line, my nurse came out at like 10am and took my dressings off to see what was going on, the bleeding had stopped and she was able to clean up all the dry blood.  She thinks i must have hit my picc line and caused it to bleed. it was the most painful dressing change especially since i just had it done the day before! more then once i screamed a little.  the picc line is stitched into my arm and when they do the dressing changes every week they have to clean under the stitches, which has now loosened my stitches.  i can go get new thank you! or suffer, it is pretty painful because they move around and pull under my skin.  i currently am using tape to keep them in place.

my nurse suggested using an ace bandage and ace bandage my arm to a pillow at night so i can not roll over on my arm or move my arm.  That does not sound like fun.  I decided to get a long tube sock and cut the toes off and wear a big sock on my arm to try to keep tubes in place and it helped a lot last night.  I will take a picture when I am feeling better.

Yesterday was an overall good day, but today I feel fairly sick, and I have my doctors appointment hopefully that will go well.

To all the wonderfulpeople who read my blog whom i do not personally know, send me your e-mail address and I will write you back..............Donna your daughter is in my thoughts and prayers, has she tried dissolve zofran?

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


woke up at 5:45 with tummy ache, in the bathroom until 6:30am, in the bath to help until 7am!  Back into bed to watch an hour on Super Tuesday! Got up at 8am to find my picc line sprung a blood leak from the incision sight, waiting for my home health care to decide if I need to go to the hospital or they will come out and help me...............always something!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Zofran Headache

Now according to my last post the worst side effect of zofran is the zofran poop, but just when I think I am at the worst side effect........side effect number 2 happens.  A zofran headache.  Now headaches are a side effect of zofran and I am not a headache person, I never even get them when I am not sick.  I typically do not get headaches with zofran though many woman I have talked to on zofran complain that the headaches are the worse.  I have been so lucky not to deal with them.

Until 7:30pm last night!  It hit like a bad storm, I was fine then all of a sudden the back of my head felt like someone had a drill and was performing a craniotomy on me while I was a wake.  It was more then a headache and I thought I was going to die.  I feel that way often, I know! I had Brad put me to bed, and I could not close my eyes it hurt so bad, I could not lay down, or sit up, or cry.  8:30pm the pain was so bad I was throwing up and shaking.  I laid in bed with my eyes open convinced I was going to die until midnight when I finally passed out from the pain.

I woke up at 8am and the headache was gone, I hope and pray I do not have to go through that again, it was the worst!

Zofran Poop

dressing change day and since I am like a rare bird in the zoo with 3 wings they are bringing another person to train.....I do not mind, I am glad I can is funny that i am a rare bird....meaning no one has hyperemesis............why am I so lucky?

Constipation is a nightmare again and I googled "Zofran Constipation" and I found a lot of information none that I have not tried.  But one woman put, "A zofran poop is worse then child birth!" I was talking to a friend who also has hyperemesis currently but she has c-sections and she said if a "zofran poop" is anywhere close to child birth she is glad she has a c-section!

I decided I wanted to try fiber pills and the first thing on the label it says: Warnings: Choking: taking this product without adequate fluid may cause it to swell and block your throat or esophagus and may cause choking.  do not take this product if you are vomiting.................I decided it was worth the risk though my nurses told me not to take it, I went to take it last night and my husband had a cow and talked me out of it.  BUT IT IS SUPPOSE TO HELP!

I took laxatives instead and at 11am I called Brad at work and said, "I pooped!"  I think we have been married too long.............must be love :)

My word of advice to people with "zofran poop" is make sure you have a stool in the bathroom to put your feet on, your feet should be as high as your butt is, someone told me this once, and boy they were right!

12 weeks 5 days

how many times does it take before i learn my lesson?

i ate peanuts again yesterday because they sounded so good..............well out came a bowl full of chunky peanut is so gross..............why do i torture myself?

Sunday, March 4, 2012

12 weeks and 4 days

do you know what happens when you eat a cup of peanuts?  Your stomach can turn it into chunky peanut butter and you can throw up 7 minutes straight without taking a breath............just so you know!

I keep telling myself that i really only have a hard 4 weeks left, and by the end of march i will be feeling a whole lot better, but i read through my blog last night from my last pregnancy and that is not really true i really do not get better until half way 20 weeks which would be the end of April!  I can not guarantee I think I can make it that far, I am considering a feeding tube.  Maybe I am fighting against something that will help me get better sooner, I am going to do some research today.  I need to be prepared for the doctors on Wednesday, i know i have lost more weight and more then they would like :(

Saturday, March 3, 2012

12 weeks and 3 days

i had to up my zofran dose because I am so sick :(  My urine looked like, "Extra Pulp Orange Juice" this morning :(

up all night sick

so  glad it is saturday and brad is home to help, please help today to be a recovery day, i am exhausted!

Friday, March 2, 2012

still friday 7:30pm

please let tomorrow be better then today, i cannot take it head is going to explode!

hurry up

why is today going by so slow, please hurry and end, i feel horrible!

i have not turned a corner.....12 weeks and 2 long days

hyperemesis is evil and just when i get mt hopes up that i will soon feel better it takes stones and throws them at me and knocks me down.  yesterday was my husbands  birthday and i wanted to die, the room was spinning, and all i could do was close my eyes to get some relief, i laid by the toilet, and hugged the bowl, last night was horrible and now i am mad and grump that i have not turned a corner!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

12 weeks and 1 day

Well I think I have turned a corner.  I think I have turned the corner a little earlier then usual (maybe it is a boy.....ha ha ha).  The corner that I have turned is no more throwing up, this does not mean I will not start again or once I started eating a lot again it will not happen, with my 3 previous pregnancy's I typically threw up at least once a week until week 40 once I delivered, even in the delivery room I am good for at least one throw up!

This does not really mean a whole lot I still need my 2 bags of IV a day, I have not swallowed any fluid in at least 6 weeks, and when I take a sip of anything I feel horrible, so it might be weeks before I can drink even 8 ounces, and I think I need like 64 oz, I don't really know.

I would like to lower my zofran but my hubby says do not push my luck and he is right. I am not really eating a lot and I need to work on that.  My strength is still not great and I am weak and still need help but I hope within the weeks it will get better.

I still am exhausted by 8pm and ready for bed but usually wake up at 6am with cramps from constipation or diarrhea, there is no happy medium and my stomach hurts all the time from intestinal issues.

After I wrote all that it seems like I really have not turned a corner....ha ha ha!